When I first met Tom, I was swept away. He distracted me
from the yearning in my heart that I still felt for Jay. I knew I had to move
on with my life, even though I wasn’t quite ready to let Jay go. Over time, Tom
finally won my heart and I did love him, but like most good things it didn’t
last. For the first couple years, Tom and I were happy together but after I
gave birth to our daughter things began to change. Tom began spending less time
with me, taking more business trips, and making frequent phone calls. I guess
for a while I tried to ignore what I knew was going on behind my back. But
after coming to terms with Tom’s affairs, I felt broken, abandoned, and
worthless. What did I do that made Tom run off with another woman? Was I not
good enough for him? Had Tom ever really loved me? I hate Tom for what he is
doing, I hate his mistress, but most of all I feel hatred for myself. I hate
myself for continuing to play the role of a loving wife, the “golden girl.”
Every time the phone rings, I put on a smile and pretend that I don’t know who
is on the other line. The part of me that once felt love for Tom was gone. The
only thing I felt now when I looked at him was complete emptiness. In those
moments where I feel the depression taking a grasp over me, I like to remember the
time Jay and I had together. He saw the real me, and loved me not for my money,
but for me. If only he was here now and he could hold me in his arms like he did a lifetime ago…
No comments:
Post a Comment