What I was thinking when I told Nick about the birth of my daughter

I couldn’t take the shriek shrill of the phone ringing anymore, so I had asked Nick to head outside for an evening stroll. When I was walking with my dearest cousin, I recalled the birth of my daughter, Pammy. I remember on that day that Tom had gone off to God only knows where. I felt abandoned and I had asked the nurse if it was a boy or a girl. When the nurse told me it was a girl I wept and thought to myself, “I’m glad it’s a girl. And I hope she’ll be a fool – that’s the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool.” I wish I was foolish and naïve, unknowing of the act I would have to put on my entire life. My husband was cheating on me with another woman, yet we continued to play house and tip toe around the harsh truth. I knew I couldn’t be the one to confront him, so I continued to play my role in this never ending play that I called my life. As Nick and I continued to talk to each other, my mind couldn’t help but think about the life my daughter would have. Would she end up like me, a “Golden Girl?” Part of me wants so much more for her. But the other part of me wants her to stay foolish and not end up having the same fate as me… Yet I continued to walk with my cousin and head back to the house where Tom and I would act like things are fine, when we both know they aren’t.